Proofread and edit 2 Essays for University Admission

Instructions 

Your statement of intent is a very important part of your application. What you provide helps the university know you as an individual — independent of grades, test scores and other objective data.

 

Please submit two 200-word statements. You can compose each statement in a word processor and then paste it into the text box or you can type directly in the text box. When you are finished, click the SAVE icon.

 

You should keep your formatting as simple as possible and avoid using any special formatting; attributes such as bold, italics, underlining and quotation marks can be lost when placed into the textbox. Because there is a limit to what you may write, please be mindful of the space remaining in the text box. A character counter is available; 1000 characters is roughly equal to 200 words.

 

 

Final Essay #1

 

What are the core skills and knowledge you hope to acquire by completing a degree in this major and how do you plan to apply these when you graduate?

 

By earning my degree in Food and Resources Economics at UF,

With the skills and knowledge acquired by earning my degree,

 

I intend to build upon my family’s seafood faming business in Ecuador and eventually improve the sustainability of food sources in South America and through the world. Currently, my family farms and harvest mainly shrimp, but I hope to expand the business to include the packaging and exporting of shrimp and other aquaculture products to foreign markets. In addition, at UF, I can learn financial methods that will help in reducing costs and increasing profitability. I can take classes in marketing that will hone my ability to negotiate agreements with international businesses and take management classes that will show me how to efficiently manage a packaging factory that assures food quality and fair labor practices. With my brothers and business partners, I want the family business to become the largest producer of shrimp in Ecuador.  Ultimately, I hope to become a major force and advisor to the Ministry of Agriculture in Ecuador to build alliances and share recommendations regarding food economics with foreign countries, especially the US. Together with the government, I can improve people’s lives by negotiating agreements that enforce regulations regarding food quality, by developing new approaches to managing natural resources efficiently, and by implementing sustainable business practices.

 

Final Essay #2

 

Please provide any other information about yourself that you feel will help this college make an admission decision. This may include work, research, volunteer activities or other experiences pertaining to the degree program.

 

Through my experiences as a part time shrimp producer, census research assistant, and student volunteer, I have gained two important skills: leadership and the ability to solve problems. By working with my father at the shrimp farm for over ten years. I have learned how to maximize efficiency by monitoring shrimp growth and by balancing nutrients and water quality. From my efforts, the family business has been able to harvest shrimp up to 40% faster than our competitors. Additionally, I learned new skills by participating in a government-issued census, which required me to interview local households. While conducting the census, I was able to gather and analyze information such as household size, income and lifestyle factors among the participants. This experience has taught me to recognize and forecast trends. Finally, I acquired leadership skills during my senior year by participating in a literacy program, where I was assigned to teach low-income adults how to read and write. As a result, I learned how to instruct, manage, and coach people while collaborating with my colleagues. As can be seen, my skills in leadership and management are commensurate with my experiences. I hope that these skills would be proven valuable to the program.